Working on self confidence in regards to my appearance

November 11, 2013

Even still, I feel like an imposter. I’ve been out to everyone in my life, work and personal/social, since March. Still, I often feel like I shouldn’t be me when in public. Shame and a lifetime of hiding leads me to doubt myself more than may be healthy.

I don’t typically wear clothes that are too overtly feminine. I wear jeans. I wear t-shirts. I wear flats.

I don’t wear dresses. I don’t wear skirts. I don’t wear high heels. I am afraid of these items of clothing. I am afraid of being judged by those around me, and I am afraid of my own reflection.

Today I wrote a yellow blouse to work. The entire day, I felt extremely self conscious, afraid that I’m being read as a freak. I realize this is all in my head.

Anyway, this is just something I’ve been dealing with lately.



4 Responses to “Working on self confidence in regards to my appearance”

  1. If you ever need fashion advice, let me know! Fashion was my college major, which included how to dress different body types. 🙂

  2. Heidi. Says:

    That read like looking in a mirror. Don’t worry lady, confidence breeds confidence; in a while you won’t have to think these things.

  3. Bryanna Says:

    I can say, I have this same feeling. Always wearing clothes that are pretty androgynous in style.

  4. Ren'Ai Says:

    Self-confidence and feeling fake really does seem to be an ongoing internal conflict even after coming so far…And here I thought I was just constantly slipping into denial. Very happy you’re so open and helpful overall, Parker. Truly hope you find a style that empowers you as a woman and a person.

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