Curse or a Gift?

August 19, 2013

Once again, @ZJemptv nails it. There were a lot of times in my life that I thought of being trans as some sort of affliction, curse or punishment. “Why am I like this? This isn’t fair! Why can’t I just be like everyone else!?”

It wasn’t until very recently that I came to the realization that being trans is something necessary for me to be the person I am. It’s an integral part of my life experience, having shaped my childhood, my adolescence, my pre-transition adulthood, and my current state of being.

Would my life have been easier had I been a cisgender girl (or a cisgender boy, for that matter)? Of course. Not having to worry about crushing dysphoria and depression would have been amazing! It truly would have been a weight off my shoulders.

On the other hand, had I been cis, I wouldn’t have learned to question things the same way that I do. I wouldn’t have become so focused on the things I was passionate about, as I did so as a way to distract myself from my dysphoria. Almost every aspect of who I am would be different. In effect, I wouldn’t be me; I’d be someone else.

This isn’t to say that “everything happens for a reason,” because… no. This is to say that things happen, and as a result of those actions and events, we become who we are.

Yes, life can be challenging as a transgender individual, but if I wasn’t trans, I wouldn’t have those experiences, and I wouldn’t exist as I do now. Personally, I like existing. For that reason, being trans isn’t a curse or an affliction to “cure,” but rather just another set of life circumstances.

Yes, it’s hard, but it makes me real.



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