Accepting myself

May 13, 2013

Every so often, I have a day where I just don’t feel like I’m me. I feel like the world doesn’t see me as a woman; like the world doesn’t see me as trans, even. I just feel like the world sees me as a guy, as a person who isn’t me.

I ran into a friend when I was out walking the other day, said “hi,” a quick exchange of pleasantries and a hug; then I was on my way. Later, she said (and she meant well, I know) “that was the first time you’ve sounded like [birth name] in a long time.”

Thinking about it, I feel like I sink into the autopilot of the “old me” when I feel threatened or not accepted. This presents a problem for me. How can I expect people to take me seriously as myself if I keep falling into mannerisms I used to force myself into following in order to seem “normal?”

I don’t know. I guess I need to work on breaking down some walls within myself. If I can’t accept me, no one will accept me.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: