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[I transitioned at work exactly 1 month ago]

April 4, 2013

Exactly one month ago, I spent the morning obsessively digging through my clothes and my makeup. I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted that day to be as normal of a day as possible. At the same time, I really just wanted to call in sick, and crawl back in bed.

That was my first day as me, at work.

A month has passed. Did that day go as seamlessly as I would have liked? No! Of course not. Nothing ever does. I was nauseous. Walking into work that day, it was clear that my co-workers were going to do their best to not draw attention to the fact that [birth name] didn’t work here anymore, replaced with this new person: Parker. No one said a word of encouragement. No one asked if I was doing okay.

Then again, no one said anything negative, either. That’s all I had really hoped for.

In the past month, I’ve gone from trying to be a bathroom ninja – getting in and out without anyone seeing me – to just going in whenever I needed to, just like the other women in the office. Why? Because I am a woman. This is my office. That is my bathroom. Deal with it.

I feel there are people here who are still a little uneasy about me, but oh, well, there’s nothing I can really do about that. I’ve tried being friendlier, a little more outgoing, but I think people are still walking on egg shells in an attempt to avoid saying something offensive.

I did hear one thing yesterday, that really hurt my feelings: I was in one of the bathroom stalls, when I overheard two other women in the bathroom talking:

I still think it’s weird that we have to share a bathroom with a tranny.

Ouch.

Obviously, these women didn’t know I was in there at the time, but the question, “is this really how people talk about me when I’m not around?” started playing through my head on repeat. I didn’t recognize these voices, so I don’t think it was anyone I work with, but still, ouch.

Anyway, here’s to 1 month down. Hopefully a year from now, I’ll be able to look back at this situation and laugh.

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5 Responses to “[I transitioned at work exactly 1 month ago]”

  1. leftytgirl Says:

    Thanks for sharing your story with us. Sorry to hear about that comment in the bathroom– I know hearing that word, especially in that context, must be pretty tough. But my guess is that as you move forward, your confidence will likely grow and that will gradually spread outwards into your surroundings.

    best of luck xo

    • Parker Marie Says:

      I debated whether or not to even write that word out in my post, but I think it’s important to recognize what was said. It’s entirely possible that they’re not aware of how hurtful that word can be (though, they were basically saying that I was using the wrong bathroom, in their opinions).

      That said, I’m surviving.

      • leftytgirl Says:

        Yes you are! And I think you handled it fine here. I stopped starring out those words recently because it felt like I was granting them some special power over me or something… like don’t say the word or I might break!! I don’t want it to be like that… I want people to know not to say those words, but I don’t want to go that way with it either, if that makes sense.

  2. Erryn Nichole Valenci Says:

    I love your courage Ms.Marie your an inspiration. i hope when i have to go through this it can be as successful. Though we all have our own roads to travel. Being able to be yourself anywhere is more then an invigorative feeling , if only others could understand we only wish to be ourselves, thats all.


  3. Thanks for sending me your blog link. I think you’re very brave to go through with all of this. I’m sorry you have to put up with ignorant and hurtful people. Hopefully in a year you’ll look back at all of this and just shrug and say “Their loss, they missed out on getting to know a great person.”


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