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There are different names for the same thing

September 10, 2012

In my most recent session, my therapist kept bouncing back and forth between male and female pronouns when referring to me. Honestly, it was a little confusing. He knows my preferred pronoun set (female). I’m sure he just slipped a few times. No biggie. Getting pronouns and names right might be tough for some.

It’s just now occurring to me that it will probably be tough for those who’ve known me for an extended period of time to begin to refer to me by my chosen name. This seems to be an ongoing challenge for my girlfriend. She just can’t call me Parker. We discussed this for a bit, and I get it, she’s known me by my birth name for the 4+ years that we’ve been together.

The point that I keep trying to get across when explaining why I need a “new name” is simply: going by my birth name, especially in public, outs me. I hope to get to a point where the default perception from others is that I’m female. Do I then want to introduce myself by an obviously male name? Of course not. It’s embarrassing.

It’s not that I’m trying to be someone or something else, I’m just trying to sink into the background; blend in with my surroundings. I’m still the same on the inside.

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