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[a first: gendered correctly in public]

September 4, 2012

To this point, I hadn’t been correctly gendered in public. I didn’t put too much stock in that, as I very often travel out in “boy mode” (work, at the moment…) or in some sort of androgynous mode.

Yesterday, I went to eat at the wonderful Heartland Cafe with my girlfriend for brunch. As our server comes up, he says, “hi, how are you ladies doing?” I don’t think my girlfriend heard that, but I was already trying to keep my jaw from dropping out of pure awesomeness. When he came back to take our drink orders, my girlfriend made her order, and then the server turns to me:

“…and for you, ma’am?”

BOOM! AWESOME! WHOOOOOA!

Rather than ordering a mimosa or a bloody mary as I had initially contemplated, I decided on the spot that I’d just get a Diet Coke so as to avoid outing (Drivers License: picture of me looking like a total gross dude and an “M” next to the gender marker) myself just seconds after this amazing moment. I did my best to order in a quiet and gender-neutral tone of voice (while I’ve never had a particularly “male” voice, I, again, didn’t want to out myself by speaking), and he went along his way.

Later in the meal, I got “ma’am”-ed one more time, confirming that, no, he didn’t say “man” (that’d be awfully casual of him, anyway).

My girlfriend was just as stunned as I was, as I wasn’t particularly trying to pass yesterday. Yes, I was wearing a women’s top, shorts with shaved legs, my hair was done up in a somewhat femme fashion, I had some basic jewelry and makeup on; but nothing that screamed, “look! I’m a girl!”

I had so much confidence coming out of that experience. We went on to buy some jewelry from a cute little shop.

My streak of passing came to a quick close, though, when we stopped in to Dunkin Donuts to grab some iced coffee, as I was “sir”-ed twice during that experience. Oh well! Still! Wow!

Here’s to future correct genderings! And, I guess, for the meantime, um, yay, androgyny?

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2 Responses to “[a first: gendered correctly in public]”


  1. Well yay to him for gendering you correctly! It will get better.


  2. […] today I realized that it’s been a year since one of the bigger milestones of my early transition. On September 3, 2012, I was at brunch […]


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