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There are voices in the dead of night, a child screaming, “I am Gemini!” Oh, what are you, and why?

July 27, 2012

Over the course of the next two nights, I’ll be seeing Cursive, one of my favorite bands, twice. I am pretty freakin’ excited for this. Mostly because I just don’t get out too often these days, and there’s always something fun about seeing this particular band in concert (I’ve seen them 8 times, I think).

Back when I worked in the music industry, I hung out with the guys from Cursive a few times, and they were just wonderful people (sharing swigs of scotch from a flask one night, getting me back stage another time when I had a broken foot and was on crutches – protecting me from a trample-happy crowd, and of course, getting me free beer… oh, free beer). I still keep in touch with Matt, their bassist, through Facebook, but I haven’t really talked to any of them except Patrick, their tour keyboardist/auxiliary member in a while.

What will be interesting, and I’m still not entirely sure what to do, is how I’ll present myself. Right now, I’m in total boy mode at work (collared shirt… gross).

What would I love to wear? Well, I just bought three new shirts from the Gap that I think look super cute and aren’t so fem that I’d make my partner uncomfortable. I’m meeting her there, so I’ll probably just play it safe clothing-wise.

I feel like I can’t really enjoy myself when I’m trying to be so guarded, when I’m trying to be so conscious over how I appear in public. I’d love to just be me and let those chips fall where they may. But, at the same time, I know I’m not there yet.

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